Good morning Church family,
I hope that your week has experienced a good start. And I’m praying that kids would obey their parents in the Lord this week and fathers (and mothers) would work hard to train your kids in God’s ways. Remember, God’s Spirit must help us to be the Godly parents that we should be and for our kids to become all that God intends for them. God’s Spirit empowers us, and we depend on Him (Eph. 5:18) in our mission to parent well. And kids need that same empowerment to obey their parents. To be fair, we should admit that obeying parents is difficult (don’t you remember being a kid?) and parenting kids is difficult. Much grace is needed for both.
Fortunately, Ephesians 6 comes after Ephesians 1-2 where the Apostle Paul laid out all of God’s grace that both saved us from our own sinful proclivities and regenerated us to become “God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works” (Eph. 2:10). Therefore, we depend on His grace and His new heart in us that enables kids to obey their parents (a “good work”), and us parents to not provoke our kids to anger, but instead, nurture them with the love and discipline of the Lord (another “good work!”).
There is one addition I would like to add to the Ephesians 6:1-4 discussion from yesterday’s sermon: Is there an age limit for kids obeying and honoring their parents and parents nourishing their kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?
This question makes a really good conversation. Does a kid stop obeying his/her parents at 18? Or do children stop obeying their parents when they get married and “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” (Gen. 2:24)? And does your obligation to obey your parents expire but your responsibility to honor your parents continue?
The same question can be asked about raising kids. Do you completely stop “nourishing”/bringing your kids up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord when they turn 18?
I think these questions don’t have simple answers which is why they make great discussion. I believe that there is not a strict Biblical line for these limits. However, we have set more clear cultural lines in our day than what the Bible has laid out for us.
For the case of obeying vs honoring parents, I believe that honoring your parents continues your whole life. The word “honor” means to “value.” In Matthew 27:9, the word “honor” is interpreted as “a price being set” and in the Old Testament the word “honor” in Hebrew is associated with ‘weightiness.’
No doubt, in Ephesians 6:1-3, Paul includes obeying parents as a part of honoring parents. However, my point is that honoring parents continues even when you are 50, 60, or 70 years old in the case that your parents are alive.
When we consider that part of “children, honor your parents” from Ephesians 6, it reminds every parent in our Church that even while you parent your kids, you still have the obligation to be a good adult child who honors your parents today. This can be hard, as I’ve personally witnessed, and yet it’s crucial.
Now for parenting, when does the “bringing your kids up” stop? I think there are dynamics that change in how you ‘bring up’/nourish your children as they age, even beyond 18 into their young adult years. But I’m sure that many of you who have adult children would still say that you “admonish”/”instruct” your kids even to this day. The disciplining part definitely dissipates into the adult years of your kid’s life, but the instructing/warning continues. I know that it takes wisdom to know how to go about this for every child, depending on many factors. However, I think it’s important to note that Ephesians 6 does not set an age limit for these things. Being a father and being a child actually continues long after one turns 18. Therefore, we should be careful not to assume strict age limits on these commands to us.
Positively speaking, that means these parent/child commands are much broader and more practical than if they only spoke to a mere 18-year window of time.
These commands are ongoing to some degree, and I say that to hopefully encourage you:
- For those of you who seemed to fail raising your kids well while they were young, you are still the father and mother and can potentially make an impact in your kids’ lives.
- For those of you who are adult children of older parents, you can still honor them in the Lord, and this is important because it gives you a continued opportunity to be a good witness to the world in the way that you honor God by honoring your parents.
With love in Christ,
Aaron
P.S. Here is a good quote to inspire the still young parents to parent your kids well by learning from somebody else’s experience:
“If I were starting my family again, I would love my wife more in front of my children, I would laugh with my children more at our mistakes and joys. I would listen more even to the smallest child. I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending to be better. I would pray differently for my family, rather than focusing on them, I would focus on me. I would do more things together with my children. I would do more encouraging. I would bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to the little things, deeds and words of kindness and thankfulness. But mostly, I would love God more every day seeking to adore Him in front of them.”
